Blog

  • Showing Up

    What does showing up look like? This weekend I accompanied my husband to a Next Level Speakers Academy California Chapter Event. This was my first time attending. They had a guest speaker, refreshments, participant rapid fire (speaking for 2 minutes on a topic of their choice), question/answer segment and photo opportunities.

    I was rather surprised, as I am a harsh critic. I am a glass half empty type of person. I did not attend the first event my husband invited me too because I figured this was his thing, his community.

    I learned that showing up is not just about what I think it is. Showing up means supporting those that you love and care about in the way they need you to, even if that doesn’t fit your model. I learned sometimes showing up literally means showing up.

  • Encouragement

    I want to encourage anyone that is reading this post today. It is difficult to be living in this political climate. The uncertainty seems insurmountable. The challenges seem never ending. As soon as we adjust, bam we are hit with another obstacle to overcome. I feel it too. There are days when I just want to give up, throw in the towel, hid under the covers and act like none of this is real.

    Unfortunately, it’s real, it’s happening and we have to learn how to deal with it. Some may turn to alcohol, some may turn to pills, some may turn to street drugs. The reality is those substances don’t solve the problem, they numb it temporarily. They provide an artificial relief that actually intensifies the problem because now you have two problems.

    I want to encourage you to push through. I want to encourage you to turn to your high power. I want to encourage you to lean on your family, friends or support group for support. I want to encourage you to engage in self care and participate in activities that bring you joy. I want to encourage you to go to your happy place often. I want to encourage you to understand that troubles don’t last a lifetime. I want you to think about these famous words from Nelson Mandela ” It always seems impossible until it’s done”.

  • Support

    Friday was my father’s birthday. I gave him a call to wish him happy birthday and in the process asked him if he had taken time to read my blog. His response was no. I must say that in that moment I felt hurt. I don’t know why after all these years I still let his lack of support hurt me. It’s not like he has supported me. It’s not like he was present when I needed him. It’s not like we have the closet relationship, but it still hurts.

    As a mother I support my children in everything they do, always have and always will. Can I be there for everything, probably not but they know they can count on me. I will move mountains for them and I can’t imagine it any other way. I don’t understand parents that aren’t supportive. Why not support your children? Now if they are doing something illegal or immoral I can see not supporting foolishness, but otherwise why not?

  • You are the reason

    Giving advice is much easier than taking advice. It is easy for most people to see the inadequacies of others and point out their character flaws, but be delusional about their own. In my line of work, I see it often. Some of my clients can point at who contributed to their addiction, what trauma may have triggered their addiction, but they are oblivious to how they are the reason. Many people, places and things can contribute to why people continue to use illicit drugs, but you are the reason you start.

    This may not be popular. This may annoy some, and anger others. It’s ok though, feel all of those emotions. Look in the mirror and point at yourself for you are the reason. Rather it was peer pressure, environmental contributions, lack of parental guidance, some form of trauma beyond your control…..still you are the reason.

    As humans we have trauma, we have pain, we have grief, we have loss, we have our own reason why we do what we do. No matter the reason the choice is always yours. I understand that you were in that car accident and got hooked on pills. I understand that you began drinking socially and now you need alcohol just to feel well. I understand that crack was being sold at every street corner and that day you were vulnerable. I understand that you have insomnia and coffee isn’t cutting it, but a few hits of methamphetamine gives you the energy you need to get through the day.

    I get it. I understand it, but still the choice is yours.

  • Giving yourself grace

    So many times,we are our worst critic. We notice the imperfections. We feel the disappointment. We harbor the hurt. So many times, we feel like it’s our fault. If I would have….why didn’t I. We hold on to these negative thoughts about ourselves, no matter how wonderful others tell us we are. I am guilty of that, too.

    How do we overcome this…by giving ourselves grace. Grace is defined as an attractively polite manner of behaving. Most of us will extend grace to others, like the person who asks to cut in line because they only have one item or the driver that is impatient just to save a millisecond, but how often do you say to yourself you did your best, it’s ok to fail, next time or it will be alright?

    More often than not, we go straight to negative thinking, casting stones at ourselves. My hope is that today you stop and say it’s ok, you are human, you make mistakes. You put one foot in front of the other and keep going forward with your head held high, knowing that tomorrow is a new day, a new opportunity to be great!

  • Curve balls

    Last week was rough mentally. I have come to realize that no matter how good you think life is, it will throw you a curve ball every now and then. Thankfully, I am resilient. I am able to turn curve balls into home runs…most times! As a clinical supervisor, I wear a multitude of hats. Each day is different, and not all days are good days, but I still find the work rewarding…most times! Slowly, I am starting to think about my next chapter, though. This line of work can get monotonous over time, and lately, I have been finding myself wanting something new, something different, something exciting…most times!

  • Going for it

    It may be challenging, go for it. It may be hard, go for it. People may disagree with you, go for it. You may not have all the answers, go for it. Why live in regret? Life is yours to live, so go live it!

  • Living by Faith

    My husband created a t-shirt line called LIFE Living In Faith Everyday. The message is simple yet complicated. Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Living by faith takes courage and for some that is challenging. I am married and having faith in my husband to lead, protect, provide and stay committed to me is scary and for some it is so terrifying they decide not to marry because they don’t have that type of faith in another person. That is one reason why when the faith is broken there can no longer be a relationship. Ask yourself how strong is your faith? Do you have total trust and confidence in someone or something?

  • Life

    Life can be challenging. Life can be unpredictable. Life can be uncertain. Life is work. Sometimes I get annoyed with life. Sometimes I get frustrated with life. Sometimes I want a redo. Sometimes I want to leave the life I live. Sometimes I don’t want a life at all.

    As I reflect on my life, there are definitely some things I would change. There are some decisions I wouldn’t have made. There are some options that didn’t work out as I had planned.

    But, you know what? I only have this one life and therefore I try to make the best of it. No matter where you come from, what your parents did or didn’t do, what racial background you come from,  you can make your life what you want it to be.

    Never stop. Never give up. Keep living. Keep learning and keep loving life.

  • Discipline

    Discipline is defined as the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior. As children most of us are taught some form of discipline, rather we agree with that form of discipline is a topic for a different post 😊

    As we become adults discipline changes. It becomes more about what you do. Waking up daily to go to work, paying bills, exercising, eating properly all take discipline. Without discipline life can be chaotic, stressful and unpredictable. Most of us know this, most of us understand this, but we still lack it. Since we have the ability to make our own decisions, unlike when we were children we often disregard discipline.

    It takes discipline to obtain abstinence. It takes discipline to be successful in recovery. It takes discipline to maintain long term sobriety. This is easier said than done for most people. The ease of falling back into old behaviors is sometimes easier than fighting through the pain and doing the work, and work it is. Abstinence does not come easy especially depending on the substance one is addicted to. Recovery can be challenging as it encompasses many facets of life. Long term sobriety requires discipline, consistency and a belief that all the work, time and effort is beneficial and invaluable.