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When you experience substance use disorder it is all about lack of control. Lack of control over your behavior, thoughts and actions. There is power in getting control and being able to live “normally”. Control is defined as the power to influence or direct people’s behavior.

However, the type of control that exist in interpersonal relationships and the lack of control of self are the most cynical. Some people think that control means that someone loves them. We often hear statements like “they only want what’s best for me” and in the lack of control of self we hear statements like “it isn’t my fault”. Both statements are nonsensical. Getting control of your life and someone or something having control of your life are not the same. One involves being forced to do the work of others the other involves the work you do for yourself.

Our goal should be to not let anyone, or anything have control over our lives, rather that be relationships, work or substances. Letting this happen gives that thing your power. Letting this happen makes you more vulnerable to manipulation. Letting this happen destroys your self-confidence and devalues you.

It is challenging to change something you have been doing for a length of time. As I have said before change is scary. Sometimes you have to let go though.

I gave seven years of my life to a company; however, things were changing and I did not agree with the direction it was going. My enjoyment for the job was dissipating. I was finding myself not wanting to get up for work. I was going into work with a certain irritability that I had to be there. I began having a lack of motivation, where I was once a high achiever. I just started dreading everything associated with my employment there.

So, I let it go! I began to realize that I cannot change them nor how they manage their company, the only thing I could do was change myself. I didn’t put in a two-week notice. I was already out for a month, so I just sent an email that I was done. I got back a generic message like we are sad to see you go; however, I knew that was not true. Management and I had been clashing for months. I felt like I was not appreciated for all of my dedication and commitment to the job.

So, I let go! After resigning I felt a sense of relief. Like a weight had been lifted off of me. Like the black cloud was gone and the sun was shining through. I closed a chapter in my life. Your identity should not be tied to a job. YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT than a job and so am I.

Change is inevitable. Sometimes change is scary. Other times change is gratifying. My life is changing and I am trying to adapt by applying the let them theory. Something I am reading about in “Let Them” by Mel Robbins.

With my mental health conditions change is challenging. I feel like I thrive better with consistency and knowing what is happening and why. Some may call this control, but I feel like it reduces my anxiety.

Recently my work environment has brought me great angst and made me question myself about rather or not I should remain in the counseling field. Now, I have been doing this for the last 13 years and I believe that I am passionate about those that battle addiction. I am sympathetic and understanding, as best as I can be.

I know that I need to make a change, but what is it? I can leave my job, go into a less emotionally taxing career but does that satisfy the purpose I feel I have? Am I making the right decision. I am not sure, but I have to make one.

There has been a lot of buzz online about a woman who calls herself a doctor, but have no proof that she is. So I ask should we call it fraud? Fraud is defined as wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain. By this definition alone I would say yes. She has had financial and personal gain from a title. However, is that where we draw the line?

Some may say that people not living in their truth are fraud. If you have a transgender person that passes themselves as a gender they aren’t would that be considered fraud? I believe the countless people that have been bamboozled would say yes, as some are benefiting financially and personally.

What about the spouse who is deceptive about their substance usage? Is this considered fraud? Again some would say yes and even though they may not be benefiting financially they sure are benefiting personally. We are living in a time where fraud is hard to detect. We see images of people, lifestyles, business ideas and quotes on social media and believe them to be truth, only to find out they are illusive or better yet they are generated using AI.