Uncertainty

In my life I have had several uncertain moments. Some were my doing and some were not. I didn’t have the words to describe that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t understand why my heart rate would increase. I didn’t understand why my palms would become sweaty. I didn’t know why my head would begin to pound. I let uncertainty stop me from going places, doing things and being involved. I didn’t know that mental health was at play. I didn’t have the knowledge about brain functions. I am learning. I am adapting. I am understanding. I am doing better than before.

Sometimes people see things in you that you don’t see yet. Sometimes people have insight that you don’t have. Sometimes people have experiences that you haven’t experienced and maybe you won’t experience. Sometimes you need help and don’t know or realize it. If you are fortunate you have people in your life that care, that show concern, that are attentive, that are present physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

The hard part is understanding that uncertainty does not always mean something bad. It does not always mean trouble is ahead. It does not always mean you will make the wrong decision. It sometimes is what it is and it will be ok, but that is hard when you have anxiety. Uncertainty brings out fear, stress, physical responses, emotional reactions and paranoia. It is the worst feeling of loss of control that sends you spiraling. At least for me.