Category: Main

  • Are you accountable?

    Accountability means the quality or state of being accountable; especially an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions. As I see things on social media and in the news I see many people lack accountability. Lack of accountability for what they do, what they say and how they behave. Working with people who battle substance use disorder I see lack of accountability daily. Some blame their parents, their childhood, their socioeconomic status, everything but themselves.

    How did you start using drugs? Who exposed you to them? Why do you continue to use drugs even though you experience negative outcomes and consequences? Who do you think is responsible? YOU ARE! Not your parents, not your family, not your friends, not society, but YOU!

    Yes drugs may have been offered to you. Yes your parents exposed you to drugs. Yes you lived in a drug infested community. Yes you got into a car accident and have pain. Yes you are/were living in poverty. Yes you are/were privileged…. no matter the circumstance YOU are responsible. Being able to be accountable and take responsibility for your decisions, choices and behaviors will change your life

  • Emotional Maturity

    That term has been spoken more and more today. Emotional maturity means capacity to understand and manage your own emotions while remaining aware of how your behavior affects others. How many of us were taught this? How many of us had to learn this? When I was growing up emotions were not something we discussed, felt or expressed. Emotions were seen as a weakness.

    Today emotions are felt, expressed and considered normal, but yet emotional maturity is still absent. Where do we learn it? How do we learn it? Those are questions I have asked myself. The one place were I learned emotional maturity was in my dealings with my adult children. When they were young I was emotionally immature. I didn’t consider others feelings. I did not watch my words. I didn’t care to change.

    However,  I had to change to have the relationships they and I needed. I had to become emotionally mature. It was not easy, but necessary. Still today I have to check my emotions. I have to be considerate in how I address situations. I have to be emotionally mature, not just for them but for myself.

  • Everyday is a new chance!

    Everyday is a new chance to get it right!

  • What in the world?

    This is a saying from Dr. Eric Thomas. It is said when something out of the ordinary is occurring. In today’s times I find myself saying it more and more. If you watch the news and hear about the state of the US, you can’t help but say what in the world? No matter the political party the events that are happening in the US are deplorable. It is hard to support such conditions. We are appearing to be the divided states, not the united states.

    Even if you don’t watch the news, you hear and see things on social media that contribute to the division. Race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status are blaring. Families are being ripped apart, businesses are closing, gas has skyrocketed, rent is astronomical and the overall cost of living is depressing. There are more people being diagnosed with mental health conditions. It is estimated that more than one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness. 59.3 million in 2022; 23.1% of the U.S. adult population. www.nimh.nih.gov › health › statistics

    Medication is being prescribed like candy. There is a pill for this or a shot for that, sometimes at a patient’s request not necessarily because it is medically necessary. Working in the field of addiction I witness first hand how substances fix one thing, but causes another. Those things that we do to “fix ourselves” actually hurt us in the end. What in the world have we become and how do we get back to humanity?

  • Resurrection

    Today is Resurrection Sunday for those whom are religious. The definition of resurrection is the rising again to life of all the human dead before the final judgment. It reminds me of the phoenix rising from the ashes.

    Some of us have to kill our former selves in order to become the person we need to be. We have to disregard some of the negative thoughts we have about ourselves and exterminate bad habits. It may be hard. It may be difficult, but it is necessary in order for us to grow and become the person God created us to be.

    Getting sober is a resurrection. You shed that former life and rise from the ashes. You repair what was broken, you make good on your promises, you change problematic behaviors, you get back trust from those you love and have hurt.

    Resurrection is not easy, but would staying dead be better?

  • The Beginning

  • Some days are harder than others

    Lately I have been having more questions than answers about life and life decisions. I have been struggling to make sense of it all.

    Mental health and substance use sometimes goes hand in hand. I decided to make an appointment with a therapist and even though I work in the capacity of counseling others, sometimes we also need help ourselves.

    It is so easy to help everyone else that sometimes your needs get put on the back burner. It is challenging to be everything for everyone when you are struggling yourself.

    Suffering in silence has led to so many people taking their lives, turning to substances and neglecting themselves. We walk around with a smile and keep the pain inside until one day……

  • Mind versus Heart

    Sometimes our mind and our hearts do not align. It is difficult to know which one you should follow. It is hard sometimes to know which is correct. When we have a loved one that is battling addiction it is challenging to know when to say when. There are several questions you may ask yourself, there will be some guilt, some shame, some uncertainty. It will not be easy to decide which you should go with, but ultimately a decision will need to be made, right?

    Their behavior is out of control. They are lying. They are stealing. They are erratic. They are irrational. They are destructive. They are not the person you know them to be. How long do you stand for it? How long do you tolerate their behavior? There are so many questions, but where are the answers.

    If I knew the answer I would be rich. What I do know is that there are those of us that follow our hearts and those of us that prefer to follow our mind and both are correct depending on you. When I deal with family members battling substance use disorder I choose to follow my mind to protect my heart that has been broken so many times.

    Some may say that is incorrect, that they should be treated with compassion and that is true…..however I decide when is when. I decide when I have had enough. I decide when it is too much. I decide how I allow people to treat me by what I accept. Making a decision to protect myself is not out of lack of compassion for them, but instead out of love for myself. Rather you choose to follow your mind or your heart, the decision is yours and you should make that decision based on the love you have for you not them.

  • Preparation

    Have you ever tried putting together IKEA furniture? There are so many pieces that it would be damn near impossible without instructions; however instructions alone won’t get the job done, you also have to have tools.

    Tools and instructions are like preparation. You have to have those items to complete the job, without them the job would be seemingly impossible and more complicated. What job do you have coming up? Are you prepared? Do you have the instructions and tools needed to complete the job?

  • Go get it!