Tag: writing

  • Some days are harder than others

    Lately I have been having more questions than answers about life and life decisions. I have been struggling to make sense of it all.

    Mental health and substance use sometimes goes hand in hand. I decided to make an appointment with a therapist and even though I work in the capacity of counseling others, sometimes we also need help ourselves.

    It is so easy to help everyone else that sometimes your needs get put on the back burner. It is challenging to be everything for everyone when you are struggling yourself.

    Suffering in silence has led to so many people taking their lives, turning to substances and neglecting themselves. We walk around with a smile and keep the pain inside until one day……

  • Mind versus Heart

    Sometimes our mind and our hearts do not align. It is difficult to know which one you should follow. It is hard sometimes to know which is correct. When we have a loved one that is battling addiction it is challenging to know when to say when. There are several questions you may ask yourself, there will be some guilt, some shame, some uncertainty. It will not be easy to decide which you should go with, but ultimately a decision will need to be made, right?

    Their behavior is out of control. They are lying. They are stealing. They are erratic. They are irrational. They are destructive. They are not the person you know them to be. How long do you stand for it? How long do you tolerate their behavior? There are so many questions, but where are the answers.

    If I knew the answer I would be rich. What I do know is that there are those of us that follow our hearts and those of us that prefer to follow our mind and both are correct depending on you. When I deal with family members battling substance use disorder I choose to follow my mind to protect my heart that has been broken so many times.

    Some may say that is incorrect, that they should be treated with compassion and that is true…..however I decide when is when. I decide when I have had enough. I decide when it is too much. I decide how I allow people to treat me by what I accept. Making a decision to protect myself is not out of lack of compassion for them, but instead out of love for myself. Rather you choose to follow your mind or your heart, the decision is yours and you should make that decision based on the love you have for you not them.

  • Preparation

    Have you ever tried putting together IKEA furniture? There are so many pieces that it would be damn near impossible without instructions; however instructions alone won’t get the job done, you also have to have tools.

    Tools and instructions are like preparation. You have to have those items to complete the job, without them the job would be seemingly impossible and more complicated. What job do you have coming up? Are you prepared? Do you have the instructions and tools needed to complete the job?

  • Go get it!

  • Time

    As I look towards my birthday tomorrow time seems to be on my mind. We tend to take time for granted. We think we have enough of it. We procrastinate like time will wait for us. We say tomorrow or the next day like it’s guaranteed.

    Yet time is the one thing we can’t control, we can’t stop it and we can’t change it. As I think about time today, I am grateful for the time I have had; sometimes good and sometimes bad.

    Nevertheless I look forward to more time. More time with my children and hopefully grandchildren one day, time with my husband and time doing the things that give me purpose.

  • What’s next?

    Some of us are asking ourselves this question. New year and we want to start fresh, but what’s next? New job, new home, new relationship? Maybe you are new to sobriety and you have decided that this year you will do it and stick with it this time. This time will be different than the previous 20, 10 or 5 times you tried before, but what’s next?

    After you have made the decision to stop and you have taken the first step you have to keep doing the work. Going to support group meetings, avoiding the people, places and things that trigger a relapse and giving yourself grace. Everyday will not be butterflies and rainbows. Some days you will lack motivation. Some days you will struggle. Some days will be hard, but keep going because you will never know what’s next if you throw in the towel.

  • The end of the year

    As we are in the last week of 2025, most of us have a vision or idea of what we want the next year to look like. Those “new year resolutions” that so many of us make year after year. It does feel good to think of life getting better, finances growing and relationships improving.

    New year, new you is the motto right? Great! Do it! Live it! Imagine it! Become it! Nothing is stopping you, but you. Go after that thing, that person, that job!

    But before this year ends give gratitude for making it through, for being sober, for being strong in your recovery, for having another day, another hour, another minute to be here; some didn’t make it, but you did.

  • Disappointments

    In life there will be disappointments; sometimes within your control, but most times you won’t have control. How you navigate these disappointments determine your fate. If you crash out with every disappointment then life will be challenging, but if you take disappointments in stride you will flourish.

    It’s important that you give yourself grace when disappointments happen, especially if you tried your hardest and put your best foot forward. For instance, say you have been sober for 45 days and on day 46 there is a death that causes you to relapse and have that drink you have been trying to avoid for weeks. It’s ok to kick yourself, but it’s equally important to forgive yourself.

    There will always be disappointments, but will you let disappointments define who you are or will you have the victory and overcome them?

  • Support

    Friday was my father’s birthday. I gave him a call to wish him happy birthday and in the process asked him if he had taken time to read my blog. His response was no. I must say that in that moment I felt hurt. I don’t know why after all these years I still let his lack of support hurt me. It’s not like he has supported me. It’s not like he was present when I needed him. It’s not like we have the closet relationship, but it still hurts.

    As a mother I support my children in everything they do, always have and always will. Can I be there for everything, probably not but they know they can count on me. I will move mountains for them and I can’t imagine it any other way. I don’t understand parents that aren’t supportive. Why not support your children? Now if they are doing something illegal or immoral I can see not supporting foolishness, but otherwise why not?

  • Giving yourself grace

    So many times,we are our worst critic. We notice the imperfections. We feel the disappointment. We harbor the hurt. So many times, we feel like it’s our fault. If I would have….why didn’t I. We hold on to these negative thoughts about ourselves, no matter how wonderful others tell us we are. I am guilty of that, too.

    How do we overcome this…by giving ourselves grace. Grace is defined as an attractively polite manner of behaving. Most of us will extend grace to others, like the person who asks to cut in line because they only have one item or the driver that is impatient just to save a millisecond, but how often do you say to yourself you did your best, it’s ok to fail, next time or it will be alright?

    More often than not, we go straight to negative thinking, casting stones at ourselves. My hope is that today you stop and say it’s ok, you are human, you make mistakes. You put one foot in front of the other and keep going forward with your head held high, knowing that tomorrow is a new day, a new opportunity to be great!