Author: D. Anderson

It takes strength and determination to obtain and maintain abstinence. It takes more than just stopping usage. It takes more than just staying away from other in active addiction.

As you go through your recovery journey it is important to reduce the chances of relapse by staying away from others in active addiction, staying involved in life through working, going to school, starting a hobby, going to church, attending support group meetings or whatever that thing is that you do to keep your mind occupied.

One thing that most people don’t talk about is inner strength. Often we think of strength as a physical thing, but in recovery it is more mental than physical. It takes mental strength to stay the course. Temptations are all around from the restaurant to the grocery store if you are in recovery from alcohol or from the skate park to the convenience store if you are in recovery from illicit drugs.

The cravings, the urges, the withdrawal symptoms all take mental grit and strength. The ability to remain sober with so many options and ways to use makes people that are able to remain abstinent real life superheroes! Yes, you are a superhero!

Did using drugs give you the result you wanted? Did being high really solve any of your problems? Did spending your rent, food or gas money on drugs help keep you housed, put food in your belly or get you where you needed to go? Unfortunately we don’t ask ourselves these questions before we make decisions.

We keep making the same choices and expecting different results (which is insanity- inability to think and behave in ways considered to be normal and rational). We keep telling ourselves that this time will be different; this time will be the last time, and then we do it again.

If we change our perspective as to how we make decisions, then we can make better decisions. For example: you feel like you deserve a raise at work and you have a decision to make. You have 3 choices: complain and keep your same pay, speak to the person or persons that make wage decisions or leave the company. All three will give you results, but only one will actually give you the result you want at that company.

You save yourself undue stress, anxiety and frustration by making decisions based on the result you want. You set yourself up for success. You gets results!

What does showing up look like? This weekend I accompanied my husband to a Next Level Speakers Academy California Chapter Event. This was my first time attending. They had a guest speaker, refreshments, participant rapid fire (speaking for 2 minutes on a topic of their choice), question/answer segment and photo opportunities.

I was rather surprised, as I am a harsh critic. I am a glass half empty type of person. I did not attend the first event my husband invited me too because I figured this was his thing, his community.

I learned that showing up is not just about what I think it is. Showing up means supporting those that you love and care about in the way they need you to, even if that doesn’t fit your model. I learned sometimes showing up literally means showing up.

I want to encourage anyone that is reading this post today. It is difficult to be living in this political climate. The uncertainty seems insurmountable. The challenges seem never ending. As soon as we adjust, bam we are hit with another obstacle to overcome. I feel it too. There are days when I just want to give up, throw in the towel, hid under the covers and act like none of this is real.

Unfortunately, it’s real, it’s happening and we have to learn how to deal with it. Some may turn to alcohol, some may turn to pills, some may turn to street drugs. The reality is those substances don’t solve the problem, they numb it temporarily. They provide an artificial relief that actually intensifies the problem because now you have two problems.

I want to encourage you to push through. I want to encourage you to turn to your high power. I want to encourage you to lean on your family, friends or support group for support. I want to encourage you to engage in self care and participate in activities that bring you joy. I want to encourage you to go to your happy place often. I want to encourage you to understand that troubles don’t last a lifetime. I want you to think about these famous words from Nelson Mandela ” It always seems impossible until it’s done”.

Giving advice is much easier than taking advice. It is easy for most people to see the inadequacies of others and point out their character flaws, but be delusional about their own. In my line of work, I see it often. Some of my clients can point at who contributed to their addiction, what trauma may have triggered their addiction, but they are oblivious to how they are the reason. Many people, places and things can contribute to why people continue to use illicit drugs, but you are the reason you start.

This may not be popular. This may annoy some, and anger others. It’s ok though, feel all of those emotions. Look in the mirror and point at yourself for you are the reason. Rather it was peer pressure, environmental contributions, lack of parental guidance, some form of trauma beyond your control…..still you are the reason.

As humans we have trauma, we have pain, we have grief, we have loss, we have our own reason why we do what we do. No matter the reason the choice is always yours. I understand that you were in that car accident and got hooked on pills. I understand that you began drinking socially and now you need alcohol just to feel well. I understand that crack was being sold at every street corner and that day you were vulnerable. I understand that you have insomnia and coffee isn’t cutting it, but a few hits of methamphetamine gives you the energy you need to get through the day.

I get it. I understand it, but still the choice is yours.