Tag: recovery

Have you ever tried putting together IKEA furniture? There are so many pieces that it would be damn near impossible without instructions; however instructions alone won’t get the job done, you also have to have tools.

Tools and instructions are like preparation. You have to have those items to complete the job, without them the job would be seemingly impossible and more complicated. What job do you have coming up? Are you prepared? Do you have the instructions and tools needed to complete the job?

As I look towards my birthday tomorrow time seems to be on my mind. We tend to take time for granted. We think we have enough of it. We procrastinate like time will wait for us. We say tomorrow or the next day like it’s guaranteed.

Yet time is the one thing we can’t control, we can’t stop it and we can’t change it. As I think about time today, I am grateful for the time I have had; sometimes good and sometimes bad.

Nevertheless I look forward to more time. More time with my children and hopefully grandchildren one day, time with my husband and time doing the things that give me purpose.

Some of us are asking ourselves this question. New year and we want to start fresh, but what’s next? New job, new home, new relationship? Maybe you are new to sobriety and you have decided that this year you will do it and stick with it this time. This time will be different than the previous 20, 10 or 5 times you tried before, but what’s next?

After you have made the decision to stop and you have taken the first step you have to keep doing the work. Going to support group meetings, avoiding the people, places and things that trigger a relapse and giving yourself grace. Everyday will not be butterflies and rainbows. Some days you will lack motivation. Some days you will struggle. Some days will be hard, but keep going because you will never know what’s next if you throw in the towel.

As we are in the last week of 2025, most of us have a vision or idea of what we want the next year to look like. Those “new year resolutions” that so many of us make year after year. It does feel good to think of life getting better, finances growing and relationships improving.

New year, new you is the motto right? Great! Do it! Live it! Imagine it! Become it! Nothing is stopping you, but you. Go after that thing, that person, that job!

But before this year ends give gratitude for making it through, for being sober, for being strong in your recovery, for having another day, another hour, another minute to be here; some didn’t make it, but you did.

In life there will be disappointments; sometimes within your control, but most times you won’t have control. How you navigate these disappointments determine your fate. If you crash out with every disappointment then life will be challenging, but if you take disappointments in stride you will flourish.

It’s important that you give yourself grace when disappointments happen, especially if you tried your hardest and put your best foot forward. For instance, say you have been sober for 45 days and on day 46 there is a death that causes you to relapse and have that drink you have been trying to avoid for weeks. It’s ok to kick yourself, but it’s equally important to forgive yourself.

There will always be disappointments, but will you let disappointments define who you are or will you have the victory and overcome them?

Friday was my father’s birthday. I gave him a call to wish him happy birthday and in the process asked him if he had taken time to read my blog. His response was no. I must say that in that moment I felt hurt. I don’t know why after all these years I still let his lack of support hurt me. It’s not like he has supported me. It’s not like he was present when I needed him. It’s not like we have the closet relationship, but it still hurts.

As a mother I support my children in everything they do, always have and always will. Can I be there for everything, probably not but they know they can count on me. I will move mountains for them and I can’t imagine it any other way. I don’t understand parents that aren’t supportive. Why not support your children? Now if they are doing something illegal or immoral I can see not supporting foolishness, but otherwise why not?

So many times,we are our worst critic. We notice the imperfections. We feel the disappointment. We harbor the hurt. So many times, we feel like it’s our fault. If I would have….why didn’t I. We hold on to these negative thoughts about ourselves, no matter how wonderful others tell us we are. I am guilty of that, too.

How do we overcome this…by giving ourselves grace. Grace is defined as an attractively polite manner of behaving. Most of us will extend grace to others, like the person who asks to cut in line because they only have one item or the driver that is impatient just to save a millisecond, but how often do you say to yourself you did your best, it’s ok to fail, next time or it will be alright?

More often than not, we go straight to negative thinking, casting stones at ourselves. My hope is that today you stop and say it’s ok, you are human, you make mistakes. You put one foot in front of the other and keep going forward with your head held high, knowing that tomorrow is a new day, a new opportunity to be great!

Last week was rough mentally. I have come to realize that no matter how good you think life is, it will throw you a curve ball every now and then. Thankfully, I am resilient. I am able to turn curve balls into home runs…most times! As a clinical supervisor, I wear a multitude of hats. Each day is different, and not all days are good days, but I still find the work rewarding…most times! Slowly, I am starting to think about my next chapter, though. This line of work can get monotonous over time, and lately, I have been finding myself wanting something new, something different, something exciting…most times!

My husband created a t-shirt line called LIFE Living In Faith Everyday. The message is simple yet complicated. Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Living by faith takes courage and for some that is challenging. I am married and having faith in my husband to lead, protect, provide and stay committed to me is scary and for some it is so terrifying they decide not to marry because they don’t have that type of faith in another person. That is one reason why when the faith is broken there can no longer be a relationship. Ask yourself how strong is your faith? Do you have total trust and confidence in someone or something?