Tag: love

  • Encouragement

    I want to encourage anyone that is reading this post today. It is difficult to be living in this political climate. The uncertainty seems insurmountable. The challenges seem never ending. As soon as we adjust, bam we are hit with another obstacle to overcome. I feel it too. There are days when I just want to give up, throw in the towel, hid under the covers and act like none of this is real.

    Unfortunately, it’s real, it’s happening and we have to learn how to deal with it. Some may turn to alcohol, some may turn to pills, some may turn to street drugs. The reality is those substances don’t solve the problem, they numb it temporarily. They provide an artificial relief that actually intensifies the problem because now you have two problems.

    I want to encourage you to push through. I want to encourage you to turn to your high power. I want to encourage you to lean on your family, friends or support group for support. I want to encourage you to engage in self care and participate in activities that bring you joy. I want to encourage you to go to your happy place often. I want to encourage you to understand that troubles don’t last a lifetime. I want you to think about these famous words from Nelson Mandela ” It always seems impossible until it’s done”.

  • Support

    Friday was my father’s birthday. I gave him a call to wish him happy birthday and in the process asked him if he had taken time to read my blog. His response was no. I must say that in that moment I felt hurt. I don’t know why after all these years I still let his lack of support hurt me. It’s not like he has supported me. It’s not like he was present when I needed him. It’s not like we have the closet relationship, but it still hurts.

    As a mother I support my children in everything they do, always have and always will. Can I be there for everything, probably not but they know they can count on me. I will move mountains for them and I can’t imagine it any other way. I don’t understand parents that aren’t supportive. Why not support your children? Now if they are doing something illegal or immoral I can see not supporting foolishness, but otherwise why not?

  • You are the reason

    Giving advice is much easier than taking advice. It is easy for most people to see the inadequacies of others and point out their character flaws, but be delusional about their own. In my line of work, I see it often. Some of my clients can point at who contributed to their addiction, what trauma may have triggered their addiction, but they are oblivious to how they are the reason. Many people, places and things can contribute to why people continue to use illicit drugs, but you are the reason you start.

    This may not be popular. This may annoy some, and anger others. It’s ok though, feel all of those emotions. Look in the mirror and point at yourself for you are the reason. Rather it was peer pressure, environmental contributions, lack of parental guidance, some form of trauma beyond your control…..still you are the reason.

    As humans we have trauma, we have pain, we have grief, we have loss, we have our own reason why we do what we do. No matter the reason the choice is always yours. I understand that you were in that car accident and got hooked on pills. I understand that you began drinking socially and now you need alcohol just to feel well. I understand that crack was being sold at every street corner and that day you were vulnerable. I understand that you have insomnia and coffee isn’t cutting it, but a few hits of methamphetamine gives you the energy you need to get through the day.

    I get it. I understand it, but still the choice is yours.

  • Giving yourself grace

    So many times,we are our worst critic. We notice the imperfections. We feel the disappointment. We harbor the hurt. So many times, we feel like it’s our fault. If I would have….why didn’t I. We hold on to these negative thoughts about ourselves, no matter how wonderful others tell us we are. I am guilty of that, too.

    How do we overcome this…by giving ourselves grace. Grace is defined as an attractively polite manner of behaving. Most of us will extend grace to others, like the person who asks to cut in line because they only have one item or the driver that is impatient just to save a millisecond, but how often do you say to yourself you did your best, it’s ok to fail, next time or it will be alright?

    More often than not, we go straight to negative thinking, casting stones at ourselves. My hope is that today you stop and say it’s ok, you are human, you make mistakes. You put one foot in front of the other and keep going forward with your head held high, knowing that tomorrow is a new day, a new opportunity to be great!

  • Curve balls

    Last week was rough mentally. I have come to realize that no matter how good you think life is, it will throw you a curve ball every now and then. Thankfully, I am resilient. I am able to turn curve balls into home runs…most times! As a clinical supervisor, I wear a multitude of hats. Each day is different, and not all days are good days, but I still find the work rewarding…most times! Slowly, I am starting to think about my next chapter, though. This line of work can get monotonous over time, and lately, I have been finding myself wanting something new, something different, something exciting…most times!

  • Living by Faith

    My husband created a t-shirt line called LIFE Living In Faith Everyday. The message is simple yet complicated. Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Living by faith takes courage and for some that is challenging. I am married and having faith in my husband to lead, protect, provide and stay committed to me is scary and for some it is so terrifying they decide not to marry because they don’t have that type of faith in another person. That is one reason why when the faith is broken there can no longer be a relationship. Ask yourself how strong is your faith? Do you have total trust and confidence in someone or something?

  • Discipline

    Discipline is defined as the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior. As children most of us are taught some form of discipline, rather we agree with that form of discipline is a topic for a different post 😊

    As we become adults discipline changes. It becomes more about what you do. Waking up daily to go to work, paying bills, exercising, eating properly all take discipline. Without discipline life can be chaotic, stressful and unpredictable. Most of us know this, most of us understand this, but we still lack it. Since we have the ability to make our own decisions, unlike when we were children we often disregard discipline.

    It takes discipline to obtain abstinence. It takes discipline to be successful in recovery. It takes discipline to maintain long term sobriety. This is easier said than done for most people. The ease of falling back into old behaviors is sometimes easier than fighting through the pain and doing the work, and work it is. Abstinence does not come easy especially depending on the substance one is addicted to. Recovery can be challenging as it encompasses many facets of life. Long term sobriety requires discipline, consistency and a belief that all the work, time and effort is beneficial and invaluable.

  • Uncertainty

    In my life I have had several uncertain moments. Some were my doing and some were not. I didn’t have the words to describe that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t understand why my heart rate would increase. I didn’t understand why my palms would become sweaty. I didn’t know why my head would begin to pound. I let uncertainty stop me from going places, doing things and being involved. I didn’t know that mental health was at play. I didn’t have the knowledge about brain functions. I am learning. I am adapting. I am understanding. I am doing better than before.

    Sometimes people see things in you that you don’t see yet. Sometimes people have insight that you don’t have. Sometimes people have experiences that you haven’t experienced and maybe you won’t experience. Sometimes you need help and don’t know or realize it. If you are fortunate you have people in your life that care, that show concern, that are attentive, that are present physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

    The hard part is understanding that uncertainty does not always mean something bad. It does not always mean trouble is ahead. It does not always mean you will make the wrong decision. It sometimes is what it is and it will be ok, but that is hard when you have anxiety. Uncertainty brings out fear, stress, physical responses, emotional reactions and paranoia. It is the worst feeling of loss of control that sends you spiraling. At least for me.

  • Burn out

    What is burn out? Burn out is defined as cynicism, detachment, reduced professional ability, and exhaustion. Burn out occurs often amongst behavioral health professionals. We go 1000% daily, don’t take adequate time off work, work off the clock, answer calls and emails during off time. We are under valued and under paid and often don’t engage in our own self care. We often miss the initial signs until they are waving like red flags in the wind. We get so focused on “rescuing” or “saving” others that we forget to take care of the #1 client, OURSELVES! I will always remember the saying “you have to put on your mask first”. It is challenging sometimes to remember those words when you are in the thick of it, but it is extremely important. I know this because I found myself there a couple of weeks ago.

    Although I still love what I do and where I do it, it had become somewhat monotonous and just unenjoyable. I found myself waking up at 4:30 am dreading going to work. I found myself staring at the computer screen saying why am I here. I found myself complaining more to my significant other about the job, my coworkers and my employer. I found myself no longer finding meaning in the work I was doing. I knew I needed to change something.

    I took a week long vacation, the first time I had done that since working for this employer and actually TOOK a vacation. No emails, no calls, no checking the teams chat, nothing! I also went to the doctor to discuss how I was feeling and that is when I was diagnosed.

  • Change

    What is change? Merriam-Webster defines it as to make different in some particular, to make radically different, to give a different position, course, or direction to. Some of us do not adapt to change well, in fact most of us run from it and try to avoid it altogether. However, growth involves change and without change there is no growth. No matter how much we run from it, change is inevitable. Time changes, trends change and people change.

    Change can be negative or positive (hopefully the latter). Change used to bring me anxiety. I would literally break out in hives, heartbeat racing and stomach in knots…just a mess! As I have gotten older change is still difficult, but I have learned how to navigate it a little better. I know that I NEED change. I know that I NEED to change. I know that change IS a part of growth, but that doesn’t mean that I WANT to change.

    I believe that the most important part of change is acceptance and that has been challenging for me. I like who I am, I like what I do, I like my life, but am I living up to my full potential? Would change make me a better clinician, would change make me a better wife and mother, would change make me a better person? The answer to all of these is yes, yes and yes. I am starting to accept some changes, but I haven’t fully adapted to change in all areas of my life. I still have stubbornness, ego and unwillingness that stand in the way.